The other day I was reading this post at The Daily Tay. I laughed because so much of that post reminded me of my memaw and the things I learned from her growing up. Since today is her birthday, the big 73, I wanted to share some of these things with you guys and pay tribute to one of the most amazing women I know. Happy birthday Memaw, I love you and please don’t be mad that I announced your age to everyone on the internet!
Things I learned from Memaw
1. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day so why not start every day with a piece of burned blacker than black cheese toast? Don’t worry, you can scrape off the burned parts. Actually no, no you can’t because the entire piece including the cheese is completely burned beyond recognition. Don’t forget the glass of OJ!
2. Always remember to remove your burner covers before turning on the stove. That aroma is not coming from the new candles in the living room!
3. It is possible to catch 5 raccoons, 3 opossums, 2 stray cats, and 4 skunks in a metal cage by baiting it with dry cat food.
4. When in doubt, buy 2 of everything because at some point your granddaughter is going to ask, “Memaw do you have…?” and your answer will be “Yes I do! Somewhere.”
5. Never ever throw away food of any kind even if it expired in 1985 and even if you’re pretty sure you already have a jar of pickle relish but you can’t find it in the fridge, just buy another one. Refer back to #4.
6. When shopping, always buy a complete outfit even if you really only want the shirt. What good is the shirt if you don’t have a pair of pants and shoes to match? Once you’ve acquired too many clothes and you’ve outgrown your closet, it is perfectly acceptable to start hanging your clothes in the linen closet, the closets in both spare bedrooms, and in the garage.
7. Do not get rid of anything, ever. You never know when one day you may need 13 croquet sets. Once you’ve outgrown all of your storage inside the house, start filling the garage, two storage buildings, and your empty rent house down the street.
8. Always have extra gifts wrapped and labeled in the hall closet for unexpected guests who show up during family Christmas. Be sure to purchase these gifts in multiples of 3 in the off season clearance section of your local department store.
9. It is acceptable to serve hot cocoa in miniature Santa Claus mugs in August.
10. The more vitamins you take, the longer you will live. Just be careful not to swallow too many at one time because choking to death on your vitamins would be tragic.
These things will seem silly to people who don’t really know her but for me, these 10 things hold some of the most amazing memories of my childhood. I am thankful to have been able to have the opportunity to get to know my memaw the way that I have and to be able to say that many of the things I have learned about life, I learned from her.
I love you Memaw, happy birthday!