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plaqueA while back I found this pin on Pinterest. I wasn’t really interested in buying this to hang in the house but I couldn’t help but pin it. The words really hit me and made me think…

I have a confession to make. I am guilty of being impatient when it comes to dealing with the kids. Shocking right? I mean I’ve got 5 kids, by now I should have an over abundance of patience. Well sadly I don’t. I can admit that in the past 10 years I’ve developed a longer fuse but I still have growing to do. Let’s be honest with each other for a minute, kids are frustrating little balls of energy that bounce around pushing every button they possibly can to test your limits and your ability to keep your cool. That’s not to say that they aren’t also amazingly loving and fascinating little creatures that make life worth living because they are. My children are incredible and maybe I am biased but aren’t all mothers? Really though, they are smart, funny, entertaining miniature humans who routinely make me want to pull out all my hair, drink an entire bottle of whiskey, and run out the door screaming and clawing my face. I love them though and without them my life doesn’t have much meaning.

I know all of these things. I recognize and admit these things every day and still there are moments that I lose it and I’m not proud of it. As a parent, there is really only so much “stop that, give me that back! Quit touching me! Mooooooom!” you can take before you want to rip your ears off your head and stuff them under the couch. I tell myself that I’m going to remain calm and take a deep breath before reacting to a situation involving the kids and their behavior but most of the time I don’t. I get frustrated with having to repeat myself a thousand times a day and I get upset that they fight with each other and are cruel to each other. The worse part of it is that I know some of their behavior is learned and we, as parents, are their primary example. So what does that say about me? Am I this cruel, relentless, meaniehead they’re modeling after? I recognize that a lot of their behavior is just normal, it’s just what kids do but when I hear some of the things they say to each other or the tone of voice they are using I have to stop and acknowledge that they’re getting it from me.

Ouch right? It hurts me to know that I am failing them this way. How can they grow into good human beings if I am too impatient to teach them? You see why I couldn’t bypass that pin on Pinterest? It was an eye opener, a slap in the face to me. I want to use it as a reminder of what my job as a mom really is. I am raising a human being. These kids will one day be adults and what kind of adults will they be? Part of who they are is just their personality, predetermined by genetics or whatever but some of it isn’t. That part that isn’t predetermined is what they learn from us. I’m writing this in hopes that since I’ve put it out there for the world to see it will motivate me to do better, try harder, be the good example for my kids.

It’s hard to admit your flaws but sometimes it helps to talk about it. Know that you aren’t alone, there are other parents out there who feel the way that you do. Do you have advice or concerns to share? Please feel free to do so.

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